The JAWS Diaries chronicles the shared lives of Jason and Ashley Wahler as they navigate their new found beautiful reality in the wake of addiction, codependency and personal trauma. Humility is revealed when we are serving God and serving others, it helps us to get to know our true selves. When we are practicing humility we are more teachable and therefore wiser.

  • Seven of the state’s top 10 most destructive fires happened in the past decade.
  • The greatest gift of sobriety for me was expressing vulnerability, getting to know myself, getting comfortable with who I am and genuinely liking myself!
  • Realizing you don’t know everything is one of the main components to practicing humility in your recovery.
  • The 12-Step recovery process can help guide us in this journey of healing our emotional wounds, and in letting go of unhelpful ego defenses, thereby regaining our capacity to be humble and real.
  • Humility teaches us that we have a lot to learn from others and it’s okay to accept help.

We are more likely to make meaningful changes in our lives and to achieve lasting sobriety with the help of a supportive team. As an example, one of these persons tells his readers that “the more I learn—the more I hear and the more I see—the more arrogant I become.”  His conceit supposedly keeps him sober. He’s so proud of his abstinence that he looks down on everyone who does drink, even those who are not alcoholics.

Understanding Principle Seven of AA Alcoholics Anonymous

Someone who actually practices humility rarely feels self-conscious. Humility means taking credit for what you are responsible for and giving credit for what you are not responsible for. Humility means having self-esteem that is stable, being secure in whom you are. Humility means learning from others but not being shaken about who you are due to it. April Kelly, who hails from Paradise and Maui, is now the general manager at Nic’s.

humility in recovery

Instead of putting it all on your shoulders alone, step 7 helps you shift your perspective so you are able to ask your higher power for help as you work toward change. First, it may be helpful to talk to someone who has already completed this step. This could be a sponsor, therapist, or another support person. Talking to someone who has been through the process can give you some insight and guidance. Gaining such humility is an important part of taking a realistic perspective of yourself. AA refers to this as viewing yourself as “right-sized.” Rather than viewing yourself with a sense of grandiosity or entitlement, you learn to accept who you are as you are.

How to Practice Humility in Your Recovery

We can deny the truth of what is happening, deny that we have power over our addiction, or deny that we have an addiction altogether. Repression is a coping mechanism that can be used to avoid a difficult situation. It involves forgetting memories of the negative or painful parts of our Why Some People Have A Higher Alcohol Tolerance Than Others lives. It helps us maintain our self-esteem, and it also helps us maintain our sense of self. Humility is the quality of being open to change, being honest with ourselves and others, accepting of our failings, and of course, being appreciative of what we have and what we have achieved.

humility in recovery

Believing such falsities can cause a lot of distress, discomfort and disease. Has a love for the 12 steps, as working through them several times has helped her steer clear of addictions and grow personally and spiritually. Humility to me means viewing myself with an honest and realistic perspective. It’s NOT thinking I’m bigger than my addictions or other people. When I thought I was “all that” and had control over my life, I was living in an alternate reality, because my life—and more specifically my emotional life—was a hot mess. In sum, humility may not seem to be an obvious quality for recovery, but we doubt that anyone can maintain sobriety without cultivating it.

History of Step 7

A life propelled by self-will has failed, leaving open the door for open-mindedness in relying on God. Here at Ethos Recovery, we know just how destructive these ego defenses can be. Not only do they keep us from getting well, but they can also harm us by creating negative feelings of self-doubt, shame, and inadequacy. Humility can mean different things to different people, but in basic terms it refers to modesty and respectfulness. It is the opposite of arrogance, a personality trait that brings people into conflict with others.

So take that step and allow yourself to beat an addiction that has taken so much from your life. Discover the importance of humility in recovery with this guide. The many changes in a person’s life require a certain sense of self to be effective. At this time, people are most open to getting treatment and taking their doctors, therapists, and peers’ advice. Humility in addiction recovery is a critical part of long-term recovery. It’s no wonder that those contemplating rehabilitation want to know the meaning of humility.

learning humility in recovery

Refusing to admit that we are powerless, to acknowledge our failures to others, or to rely on God, are the very kinds of brash self-assurance that lead to misadventure in the next drink or drug. We’ve seen this repeated so many times that we accept it as axiomatic. I couldn’t control my drugs and alcohol anymore, and my life was a mess. God had a better plan for me, so I submitted myself to it. I thought of my personal faults and everybody I’ve harmed, and I admitted these to God and to another person.

  • After the pandemic, Thompson and his family were looking for a quiet community in the foothills to raise their family.
  • Our qualitative work with this population points to an attitude of tolerance.
  • “Thy will (not mine) be done,”10 is the rule, not the exception.
  • During this period of the process, the goal is to work on addressing personal issues, including some of the shortcomings and flaws that contribute to problematic alcohol consumption.

We fear being excluded from our homes, families, communities, and society as a whole. Pride can act as a defense mechanism during these times of fear. AA offers a live stage to study how humility is worn by thousands for another day of sobriety and more freedom from the bondage of self. It has been our intent to emphasize the significance of humility as a cardinal virtue across the 12-Step program and as essential to all its key elements. We have placed this emphasis in the context of a wider theological history of thought as this converged on Bill W. In addition, we have offered a constructive interpretation of the 12 Steps that relies on a model of four modulations of humility.

Sadly, these defensive strategies often prevent connection and true intimacy with others, and result in a painful isolation and a feeling that life lacks meaning. Our underlying wounds and their defenses prevent humility and the capacity to connect with our more positive feelings as well. When you practice kindness, especially random acts of kindness you experience the fulfillment of feeling connected to other people. When you practice random acts of kindness you validate yourself without boasting. You know that your higher power knows and you know what you have done kindly and that’s enough.

We’re trying to protect ourselves from being hurt by appearing nonchalant or aloof, by pretending that things don’t affect us, or by pretending to be something we’re not. Our arrogance and pride are really our insecurities in disguise. Humility in recovery is having acceptance for where we are now, mentally and emotionally, and also being open to knowing there are areas in which we might want to change, grow, and improve upon ourselves. Humility is being able to say, “I’m not okay, I need help, will you help me? ” It’s being able to admit to ourselves and others that our addictions, and our lives as a whole, have become totally unbearable. It’s being able to admit we’re addicts in the first place and that we have a problem with an addictive substance or behavior.

By Buddy T

Buddy T is a writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. Because he is a member of a support group that stresses the importance of anonymity at the public level, he does not use his photograph or his real name on this website. They use arrogance as a defense mechanism to hide their inner self-loathing. This arrogance can be one of the things that keep them trapped in addiction. It makes it possible for the addict to be lying in the gutter yet still looking down their noses at everyone else. Humility is an important quality to have and can be beneficial to a successful recovery.

For Samuel Walker, making peace with the fire meant making peace with God. The pastor of the First Baptist Church of Paradise was wracked with guilt over the death of Bob Quinn, a church member who Walker likened to a second father. On the day of the fire, Walker drove by the street where Quinn lived and for a moment, thought about checking on him. Instead, he rescued his parents, who would not have been able to escape the fire on their own. Now, utility companies routinely shut off power for millions of people during wind storms in an effort to prevent fires from starting.

Humility and Recovery

They fear that admitting to not knowing something will make them look stupid. Until the addict is able to get beyond these defense mechanisms, they will remain stuck in their misery. Individuals who have escaped an addiction to alcohol or drugs will need to develop at least some degree of humility.

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